ASK DR HAL is BACK

ASK DR. HAL is BACK March st PROCLAMATION Let it be Known Throughout the Land ASK Dr. HAL IS STARTING AGAIN NEW RUN AT GALAXIES BEGINS MONDAY Mission St. near nd CHICKEN KrOB DAVID CAPURRO PETE GOLDIE FRANK CHU ALL TO BE FEATURED IN LATEST INCARNATION OF SHOW WEEKLY PERFORMANCES WILL BE ON MONDAY NIGHTS DURING THE MONTHS OF MARCH APRIL AT GALAXIES EVERY MONDAY NIGHT UNTIL MIDNIGHT STARTING AT PM COST SEVEN DOLLARS. THE DR. HAL REPORT Vol. VIII No. OF And what s a life a weary pilgrimage Whose glory in one day doth fill the stage With childhood manhood and decrepit age. FRANCIS QUARLES FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE San Francisco Feb. th Chicken John Productions officially announced today that the award winning in the Bay Guardian night club show Ask Dr. Hal is to return for a week period during the Spring months of March and April. Those familiar with the show s format the end result of evolutionary development over the years since its inception back in the days of the late great Ode! on Bar need not fear that novelties for their own sake have been introduced and may rest assured the Management asserted that every effort is being made to preserve those elements which have so often proven themselves in the arena of public attendance. FRANK CHU TO OFFER BENEDICTION Before every show by special arrangement perennial protester holy man Frank Chu after whose opaque rantings Galaxies itself is named will ascend the stage and deliver a rapid fire impassioned incomprehensible bromide. CHICKEN S MONOLOGUE UNAFFECTED BY WRITERS STRIKE Like other talk show hosts during this tumultuous period former S.F. Mayoral candidate Chicken John has developed his powers of unscripted improvisation. He puts the crowd in a receptive mood with his musings on his travels life love and politics. PETE GOLDIE KEEPS WATCHING THE SKIES Our noted astronomer Pete deals professionally with celestial objects such as stars planets comets and galaxies and phenomena that originate outside the! Earth s atmosphere such as auroras and cosmic background radiation . What do these mean for all the rest of us here at the bottom of the Gravity Well Pete can tell you. A student of the evolution physics chemistry meteorology and motion of these celestial objects as well as the formation and development of the universe itself Pete gives our poor old Show a touch of much needed class. As he might let on the word astronomy literally means Law of the Stars and is derived from the Greek astronomia from the words astron stars and nomos law . Did you know top N.A.S.A. scientists often attend our show and or listen to the broadcast on Pirate Cat Radio . FM That s right Our show begins with an illustrated recap of the actual latest findings of planetary Astronomy. And Pete can tell you everything about the tiles on the Space Shuttle and the ones on your bathroom floor Dr. HAL SWINGS INTO ACTION Questions answered concerns addressed a personal Ministry. Bardic Eruptions a standard feature. KrOB ON THE JOB GIANT REPTILES ATTACK KrOB s krazy kut up kine! ma kompels kontentment No it just wouldn t be the Ask Dr. Hal show without the inclusion of this proven popular attraction. Educational and scientific the great KrOB s notorious edits will again add that certain je ne sais quoi which is one of the hallmarks of superior entertainment exclusively featured by our show on the Giant Screen in thrilling color and full fidelity KrOB Sound to comprise a memorable multi media experience. This week MONSTER SNAKE ATTACKS COFFEE SHOP Just when you thought it was safe to head down to the trendy coffee caf your home away from home with your goatee and hip aloofness and detachment before you can even start tapping away on your laptop suddenly. a thousand foot long serpent shoves its way in. And pilgrim there s just not that much room for a snake a fifth of a mile long with about a ninety foot circumference to fit in there. Panic ensues to say nothing of all the broken dishes and spilled half decaf lattes. Once again KrOB documents the Inh! uman Condition. A perfect beginning to this run of our show. But I hear you saying thousand foot snakes Where do they fit in Well as I said they don t fit into a coffee shop. But where they stand or rather slither in the Great Order of Creation is another matter. These huge serpents also called Orms In Old Norse and modern Swedish and Nynorsk that is snakes worms or dragons a word found also in Anglo Saxon Old English along with wyrm i.e. serpent dragon represent just that a type of wingless dragon. Not all dragons and even not all Western Dragons have wings or even legs. The Wyvern a bipedal usually smallish fire breather has only two legs. But Orms have none. They do however have length and girth not to mention great muscular strength. Yes the coffee shop hipsters haven t got a chance. You ll see. And really at what other night club show could you behold such a thing Just make time to be there no later than Nine PM Chicken insists Monday night at Galaxies Mission St. near nd. DAVID CAPURRO ADDS VISUAL EXCITEMENT Think Dr. Hal talks through h! is hat You won t think so after you watch what Yo yo Pro Dave Computer Jockey Capurro puts up on the screen. Even as Dr. Hal is speaking David s dexterous digits flash across his keyboard and presto A confirming or at least congruent image appears on the screen Usually filthy. And the crowd goes wild. ALL BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND FERNET GIVEAWAYS CELEBRATED SCIENCE SYMPOSIUM Avant garde ASTRONOMY Dazzling DEMONOLOGY Erudite ETYMOLOGY Encyclopaedic ENTOMOLOGY Perplexing PALEONTOLOGY Pedantic POETIC RECITATION Menacing MONSTER ATTACK FOOTAGE ALL Broadcast WEDNESDAY NIGHTS PM MIDNIGHT on Pirate Cat Radio . FM SOCIAL NOTES Out and about As we ready the Ask Dr. Hal show we ve had the good luck to find ourselves at some great performances in the area. One of the best of these was the recent Eric McFadden Loop Station concert at Amnesia on the night of Sunday Feb. th. This was one of the tightest and best concerts we ve seen in a while and the place was packed. Man abt. town Moss ma! de sure to be there and we also ran into KrOB with companion the enchanting Erica whose soon to leave town on family business. Fetching Fan Ameke and animated Anthony Phoer huddled together in deep conversation but at least they both bought drinks. Serious minded Sean Kelly that protean playwright and performer was in the house. Journalist Hiya Swanhhuyser decorated the bar taking notes Curvaceous Cameron Henry was conspicuously in the crowd which also included memorable magnetic Momo Cheezy a.k.a. Therese and languid lovely Lilly. Despite a flu related indisposition when Loop Station got going Sam Bass gave stringed support with his usual panache to ravishing Robin Coomer. Her voice is as haunting as her outstanding physical appeal not for the first time we marvelled at what a great act L.S. is we hope all of us groundlings appreciate it enough while they re still around down at our level before their inevitable climb to the stratospheric heights where they ll one day find themselves. They re more than a band whatever they are. Then it was ti! me for Eric McFadden his men to get on stage. His group s latest release Let s Die Forever.Together has been released in Europe and is now available through Bad Reputation Records. The new record features such talented players as Sam Bass Paula O Rourke Freddi Price Seth Ford Young Isabel Douglas Doug Port James Whiton Marika Hughes Robin Coomer Pat macDonald Marisa Martinez and Ed Ivey. At Amnesia it was Maximilian s birthday and that Discordian Master of the Accordion let the world know it with a blast of virtuosity. Despite the bug that bugged him Sam Bass added his special magic to the ensemble as he traded musical figures with guitar master Eric with lightning rapidity wotta pleasure to hear. McFadden s the Real Thing not a poseur but a real blazing talent and he works with the talented. This became plain when pleasing Paula O Rourke joined him for a run thru of some of her own songs Brava we say Brava. And then Robin Coomer added her unforgettable voice to the mix. Th! ey sang they soared. Did they ever make music. WELL YOU MAY HAVE MISSED THAT SHOW SHAME ON YOU BUT YOU CAN COME TO ASK DR. HAL GAGS GROANS GOOF OFFS GIRLS GIGGLES GRANDIOSE GRANDILOQUENCE YOU are invited Join Dr. Hal the Gang as We Celebrate the Return of an S.F. Tradition A D V E R T I S E M E N T Alien Apocalypse Available for Purchase A special consignment of the Kathy Glass graphic novelette Dr. Hal and Spain Rodriguez produced several years ago dealing with Hippies Alien Abduction Corporate Malfeasance Prophecy and Geo. W. Bush has become available for sale after the show. Signed and inscribed copies will be provided on request. Yes I know the events depicted predicted didn t occur in after all. However the story may still be enjoyed as an alternative universe tale like one where the South won the Civil War or Hubert Humphrey was elected President. Buy a Limited Edition Print of Dr. Hal Art Signed Suitable for Framing From the book Dinosaur Alphabet. Contact Vicki Olds at Studio Reflex S.F. By telephone at . By e mail at voldsstudioreflex! .com Via Snail Mail write requesting a Limited Edition Print Order Form to Limited Edition Order Form Studio Reflex Inc. Attn. Vicki Olds th Avenue City More News Home How It Works Performers Gallery Ask a Question Events News Upcoming Events No events. From the Gallery Links ChickenJohn.com Sign In eBay Signs of Witness Contact Chicken John Dr. Hal Question of the Day Question Dr. Hal in the Kyzylkum Desert of western Uzbekistan eccentric Russian paleontologist Lev Nessov discovered Mesozoic era mammals he called zhelestids. Are these linked to or monophyletic with early ungulates like. say condylarths Answer Now get this straight. In late Cretaceous eutherians including so called zhelestids the postmetaconule crista forms the metacingulum while in ungulates the metacingulum is formed by the postmetaconule crista continuing into the metastylar lobe. So there s your link for you. Nessov s discoveries of new Late Cretaceous Asian ungulatomorphs do help to clarify characters ! seen in earliest Paleocene archaic ungulates in North America anyway and allow a more testable hypothesis of ungulate monophyly. I hope that clears this up. Askdrhal

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